I'm always bemused when I see friends melt away from London just as their kids get a bit older. To my mind if you are going to forsake this magnificent metropolis the time to do it is when your kids are born. It is no exaggeration to say that parenting small children is a form of imprisonment. Why would you serve your sentence in a grey cage and not one of limitless green far from cars, syringes in the playground and undesirables on the street corner? London, in my view, really comes into its own at 10+.
Which means when I have an 8 year old and a 5 year old and a baby to entertain I'm really put on my mettle. I've tried the V&A in the past and the only way I've made it work is to devise a points system for dog, dragon and lion spotting. The winner gets 50p, the runner up also gets 50p, because by now I've figured out how children work. If your children are more 'rude bits' inclined you can always substitute body parts.
It was therefore with some hesitation that I determined to take them to the V&A East Storehouse (http://vam.ac.uk/east/storehouse/visit), despite the rave reviews. I should not have worried, they were ENTHRALLED. And as far as I could make out so was everyone else. What is more I am confident it was not just the novelty of the place. It is, as far as I know, a unique experience. It is ironic that when we live in a time in which everyone is a curator and everything is curated that the greatest discovery of museumship should be a total absence of curation.
There are almost no labels at the Storehouse and, if they want my advice, they should get rid of the very small number that there are. This is not art explained, mediated, or presented. This is objects in their rawest and most naked form. Another irony for a 21st century space is that it makes absolutely terrible Instagram material. These objects are not on display at their photogenic best, they are not on display at all, they are in store.
But it's a store of dreams, a cross between Aladdin's Cave and Mr Gruber's Antiques shop from Paddington. None of the objects are in a context; there is no chronological or thematic framework. What that means is that you really look at the object on its own terms. What is this? What's it for? What's it made of? Where is it from? Who made it? Who owned it? It's that immediate appeal to curiosity that unites adults and children alike.
The best thing, because it is after all the 21st century, is if you want to know the answers you can find them. Even more amazingly, if there is an object in the collection not on display, you can put in an order 2 weeks or more in advance and it will be produced for you. FOR FREE. When you reflect on how many terrible experiences are now ruinously expensive here you have the entirety of one of the World's greatest collections at your fingertips, for absolutely nothing.
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