Friday 28 June 2019

Parents' Pride

It shouldn't be news but it is. Progress should have completed its journey but it hasn't. Prince William won headlines and praise for the wholly ordinary and normal statement that he'd support his child if it was gay while at the same time sounding a note of caution that he would worry about 'hateful words, persecution and discrimination.' LGBT Pride Month ends on Monday with, inevitably, numerous bigots complaining that it is now a whole month that we pause to think about the death, misery and incarceration that is still visited upon those that deviate from heterosexuality in certain parts of the world.

Sure we've made progress here but it's at times seemed like an inexorable ice climb with a constant reminder of the dizzying void that lies beneath. Slowly people are learning that difference does not mean one thing different from another but as different as there are people on Earth. There aren't enough colours in the rainbow to reflect that but it's as good a reminder as any. A joyful banner prompting us to rejoice in difference not to fear it, never to hate it.

Becoming a parent has caused me to reflect on a particularly bittersweet vein of coming out stories. They regularly crop up on social media. A youngster (sometimes not so young) recounts how after years of fearfulness they showed themselves to their taciturn father or conventional mother only to be delighted at the parent being absolutely cool with it. Obviously this is on one level heartwarming but in other respects it is a tragedy to think of completely needless adolescent turmoil which could have been headed off by some basic talking.

Children see far more than their parents know and parents understand far more than their children realise. The reality is unless a parent is unusually obtuse they will soon notice if their child is eyeing up the boys or the girls, or both, or neither. It is not necessary to wait until that moment to have a simple but important conversation with your child. In truth it is not really a conversation more an assurance: love is love.

The child that loves generously and freely, in whatever direction, deserves every encouragement from its parents. The notion that children need to be protected from the knowledge of this is the real perversion. No child is too young to learn that it is loved for its authentic self and never too young to be taught that love is sharing that self with another.

It is incumbent upon every parent to ensure that their children understand implicitly that the home is a place of absolute sanctuary against a still hard world where still hateful prejudice subsists. The greatest parental pride is a child knowing it is safely loved to safely love.