Thursday, 18 November 2021

'Nil Benefit' - Part 2 of my Anthony Nolan Experience

So having had my blood drawn at home and my blood pressure measured (more greens, more sleep, more physical jerks, less booze clearly required) I had a restless wait to find out whether I was a match match. Just when I thought maybe Anthony Nolan had forgotten about me I got a voicemail and an email:

Thank you for providing your latest blood samples in August 2021. Testing is now complete and we are pleased to inform you that you are compatible with the patient in need of a stem cell transplant. You’ve now been asked to donate your stem cells to give them a second chance of life.

There then followed a much longer email with many attachments and much information. The net effect of which was that I needed to go for a medical in a week and I'd be donating within a month. I was assured there would be no treadmill involved at the medical but, unsurprisingly, some very careful scrutiny of my blood.

I'm signed up for peripheral blood stem cell donation. A short course of injections over a few days then blood out of one arm through a machine harvesting the stem cells and back in the other arm. As a long time blood donor I've long lost any fear of needles, although keeping my arms immobile for 4 hours or so sounds like the perfect opportunity to finally give meditation a proper go or get fully immersed in Gotterdammerung.

The extraordinary science that enables this is so far beyond me I haven't even sought to understand it, trusting instead that there is little to worry about (unless my spleen is tender which, apparently, is not good, unhappily I have no idea where that is). Instead I have decided that this is a form of magic and I am just the magician's assistant.

The medical was pretty thorough and even included some light wrestling with the doctor which was unexpected. In fact it was the sort of thing a private doctor would probably charge an arm and a leg for so it was certainly not time wasted.

Unsurprisingly the consent forms and questionnaires are very extensive including some rather bizarre questions. Have you ever been bitten by a monkey? No. Have you ever ingested gold? Are you kidding, have you seen Salt Bae's prices!

The very last consent form necessarily listed the (unlikely) potential side effects of the donation process and the nurse had written in the section above setting out the benefit to the patient 'Nil benefit'. I didn't want to quarrel with a medical professional but the suggestion that there is no benefit to me as the donor could not be more wrong when I hope to be able to look back at this one day and feel that it serves as some small mitigation against my every mean action and ignoble thought. 

In any event it will be an experience and what is life for if not experiences?

If you're not on the stem cell register please think about signing up: https://www.anthonynolan.org/help-save-a-life/join-stem-cell-register

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