Parenting at See Level

There are occasions in life when you know before someone has even tied their laces or stepped on a stage that they will make a match winning footballer or a scene stealing actor. But then there are times when Escoffier like skill in the kitchen or Dürer-ability with a pencil can come as a complete surprise. One of the many joys of parenting is seeing your children’s more predictable talents come to fruition but then being blindsided by their hidden talents appearing like a conjuror’s rabbit. 

Talent at parenting is not a quality we are very well trained at perceiving or indeed cultivating before the moment comes. And yet I would suggest it is a top three prerequisite when it comes to mate selection along with certainty that they’re not a feckless swine with the household finances and that they won’t forget your birthday. 

How do you tell if someone will make a good parent? Well, an obvious starting point is to see how they are around children. By which I obviously don’t mean get them to hang around the local school at chuck out time. In fact, this particular example of ‘try before you buy’ can be quite hard to engineer as first you will need to procure a child. Unless your parents had a really serious accident that is very unlikely to be a sibling. Here, definitely, nephews and nieces come into their own. 

Suggest to your prospect (not on the First Date!!!) hanging out one afternoon when it just so happens you’re doing the babysitting. Are they washing their hair even though they’ve been bald since 25? Then there’s your answer. Try to ensure that they are actively involved. Anyone can feign parenting potential in the passive mood. Does their jaw clench at the first sign of infant restiveness? Or are they down on the floor faster than a Navy Seal. 

And here’s the Max Hardy secret patented parenting assessment. I have learned that there is one absolutely unimpeachable litmus test for parental promise. How are they on the floor? I don’t mean like that, obviously. I mean are they content at child level, quite literally. Good parenting requires good communication and good communication requires good eye contact. Unfortunately, small child eyes are about 3 feet from the floor, what I like to call the ‘see level’. 

If they get down there like a horse at the knacker’s yard then you’ve got a problem. They might talk the talk but if they don’t walk the walk, by which I mean crawl the crawl, then you’re looking at a parenting passenger. And I can tell you it takes one to know one.