Monday, 5 August 2019

The wisdom of innocence & baby gazing




When our first child was born I would lift him as I would a Ming vase. Every movement deliberate and risk assessed. And while I wouldn't say I tuck the second under my arm like a rugby ball I am a lot more attuned to the robustness of very small babies. And they are pretty robust; I certainly don't want to put any bounciness to the test but equally I know they don't collapse like souffles upon the slightest touch.

It is always an interesting business having visitors around when a newborn is in the house as you immediately detect who can handle a baby and who definitely can't. Those that decline to hold them or do so as if having a ticking bomb placed in their arms invariably cite anxiety about the baby's fragility. However I have a theory that this reticence is actually a manifestation of the baby dodger's fragility.

As adults we like to think we are pretty robust, young adults in particular can think themselves indestructible hence engaging in crazy sports like ski flying and sand sailing. Confronted with a baby however and we have a visceral and tiny reminder of how susceptible to damage and injury our mere flesh and blood is.

But this is not just an observation about how insubstantially corporeal babies are. They are the embodiment of blank slates. Watch people's features as they look into the face of a newborn and you will see them soften and melt. So soothing is looking at a baby's face I think it is a genuine shame that doctors are not able to prescribe the experience for the downcast and anxious. These are faces completely and utterly unmarked by the vicissitudes of life. Every expression that of pure instinct unmediated by life's hard lessons.

I believe that some people find this purity unsettling and like looking into a mirror that reflects back the beneficent innocence of one's beginning. This can, for some, be an overwhelming experience. As for the baby, every second that passes is a cascading torrent of the new and fascinating. Very small babies are rheumy eyed. At the very beginning they can only discern light and motion, then faces and shapes with the ability to make eye contact coming in after about a month.

There is an awful lot of the world to take in and it's not by chance that nature only enables babies to do that by degrees. We benefit and learn from experience but our most fundamental humanity is reposed in our innocence and if you ever need reminding of that just cradle a babe in arms.

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